whimsical!

2012-01-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

Seems so perfect...

It seems so perfect right now..we both are passionate about dancing..are hard working. Make each other smile. So loving ...it looks perfect to me. I cant see it any other way.

I know him now for a couple of months..I like him..I liked him before too..but not in the way I like him now. I somehow can see my future with him..like everything..a beautiful house and marriage..cooking breakfast for each other! Loving each other..dancing romantic day in and day out..hanging out with friends!

He i snot yet ready for a relationship...when he asked me ..which he always does as he cares for my feelings and I love that about him! I lied! I lied saying that I am not yet ready whereas my heart actually tells me to just plunge into a relationship with him and be his girlfriend..

Why is my heart so ready to accept him as the guy in my life? I am already dreaming about valentinss day haha..i m such a dreamy girl

lets see what happens..I will wait for his move..

I cant let him know the secret of my heart.

2011-04-13T15:47:00.000-07:00

The other Women in his life....

"It wasn't always me in his life….Lighting up his spirit ….Making him happy..!
...There were these other women." thought Madhu
Ajay has got what he desired..no commitment and the freedom without any guilt to romance with other women.
“I wish he told me just once..I would have been prepared..atleast given it a thought..I wish he told me before he kissed the other woman”
“I can't see him wooing her in front of my eyes..it breaks me from inside each day ..” Madhu cried and ended her relationship which left both her and Ajay in tears.
Ajay still loves Madhu but fails to understand that what they shared were some really precious moments and that he shouldn’t be hurting her ..He dances closely..flirts around..spends most of his day with the other woman. This other woman happens to be a common friend Amrita
There is this painful surge of emotions Madhu goes through whenever she looks at Ajay and Amrita..
“ I don’t want to wait for him to come home anymore..when he is late ..I have all these thoughts of him with Amrita…” Amrita is a good friend of mine and though we haven’t discussed this ..I don’t feel like talking to her much now….”
“She is six years younger to me..
“I feel maybe its her child like laugh and enthusiasm which made Ajay fall for her..she Is not shy like me..she is bold..and cute and I feel Ajay likes her physique too..”
“I don’t know what Ajay thinks of me anymore..He says e misses me a lot..and wants to see me happy.. “
“Happy I will be the day my heart heals…and I can smile ..not a forced one like it is now..but one from my heart ..where I can feel happy for both of them.
Maybe he deserves her more..than I deserve him..
Maybe its just me…. I feel the other women is his life are much better than me….”

2010-12-11T07:23:00.000-08:00

How deep is your love ....

How deep is your love
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breakin’ us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me
---- Bees-Gees(1971)

Even after three decades these lines hold so true..
Everyone wants to gossip about your relationship who is the guy..what he looks like..where is he from..what he does for a living??
haha..true we live in a world of fools...
My love for him is deep to go beyond such questions..they just don't matter..it never did..
I dont know what the future holds for us..but I do know what the next moment be..
I would cuddle up to him as he is sleeping and wake him up with kisses..and like always whisper into his ears..'I love you my sweetheart'

2010-08-27T02:46:00.000-07:00

Trip back to my home country - August 27th 2010

I am 24 years!

Brimming full of Energy!actually mix of energies..sometimes so full of excitement that she keeps jumping around..sometimes so unbearable that she cant move..sometimes so emotional that she cries..and sometimes so crazy that she comes up with impulsive plans!
I have this craze right now..I am really tired waiting for people to join me to have fun..
I begged my boyfriend to take time out for me..but he cant..
I begged my friends..they too apologized..
Almost all my friends are married..while others are studying in different cities..
I came back to India to have fun and now I feel sooo alone!! damn I hate this feeling!

I am scared of the people in an unknown city..where will a single girl like me live..
I have always travelled with someone..sharing my excitement and joy with them!
I am nervous..yet I don't want to let myself down like this..
I have to do something..
My energy building into a small ball and getting frustratingly bigger day by day is soon going to explode!!
I have to catch someone! Do something different...I have to damn it!! do something!

..I want to break of from these holds..be myself.
the clouds are thundering outside and its just so tempting to begin my journey!!

"Running of this city life..
Running from this empty laugh..
Help Help!

Its still not tooo late..and I just want to RIDE ON!!!!

Go On Go onnnnnn..........."

~~~ It's too late - Evermore

2009-05-29T14:30:00.000-07:00

Love.

‘It’s another day for you and me in paradise’ plays in the background..

Victor holds her hand and kisses her. He matches his moves with the rhythm of the music..slowly feeling her soft body. She stirs and craves for more..they both breathe hard over each other.

She is a very passionate woman. She craved for a lover who would pamper her. She dreamt of sleeping under the stars...of making out on a hilltop..of dancing dirty..of doing many wild and crazy things! She yearned for a man in whose arms she would peacefully go to sleep every night..and wake up besides him every morning!

Victor always loved her and she is the first girl he ever kissed.
He looks into her eyes at times, wanting to know her past and what brought her back to him. She dint love him before and one day moved away from his life. She can see his impatience but she shies away,scared that he will feel betrayed.

She did it thrice..
She did not allow him to touch her.. but she bared herself to him first..her past. Those were wild days..where she had fun kissing him in the elevator secretly. The first time it was awkward..but it felt great..and she did it again..and yet again. Her sense of guilt had vanished with time. The first time she was so ashamed that she couldn’t sleep through the night. She was partially overcome with lust and the hunger of someone desiring her...loving her with intense passion. She mistakenly thought all this would change his mind, that he might fall for her and notice her beauty. But it dint change him.

At that stage of her life she felt completely lost and betrayed.

It hurt her self esteem immensely. She spent days in remorse and anger and it seemed like a memory which could never be erased.
She has always been a strong ambitious woman. To get out of this mess, she took up tasks which would keep her busy and she vowed never to let another man touch her!

But suddenly Victor came back into her life…
And everything that she desired, she could see right there.
She wanted to leap but she was too scared to get trapped again.
He overcame her every defense with his undying love.

She tried to test him many times.
With tears in his eyes Victor confessed his love for her. He kissed her and caressed her asking her to relax and have faith in him. She had never seen so much love for her in any man’s eyes. It was like being born again with a new life and life since then has been so happy and wild with him! She loves him from her heart.

When he looks at her deep, she has contemplated many times to give in and tell the truth...
But she feels that her past brought her to him and doesn’t say anything.

2008-12-11T23:43:00.000-08:00

I don’t know what holds him back..

What form of emotion he doesn’t understand..
He loves me and cares for me as a very close friend..
But I yearn each day that he would pop up the question..
He would say what I have been yearning to hear..
He would take me in his arms and just say those magic words..sweeping me off my feet!
I keep dreaming..and wondering..imagining how it will overwhelm me and bring tears to my eyes…

But I don’t know what holds him back..

When he looks into my eyes longer..I hold my breath..waiting to hear those words!
When he says there is a surprise..my heart stops…ohh..how it feels when that surprise turns to be something else.
It feels like a receeding pain inside of me..
When he suddenly turns to me and walks to me holding the stare..
When he calls me saying that he has something to say to me..
When he calls me online because he wants to chat about something with me..
When he calls me very night before he goes to sleep…
I wait and still wait, wishing that now!this is the moment I have been waiting for..
But alas!..Everytime..i feel the same receeding pain inside of me

I don’t know what holds him back..

I chide myself…for being too girly and overly sensitive!
I promise myself that I would not think on those lines..
But without any thought..the same pain passes through my heart..
And I have no control..then slowly I let go of that feeling..
and try to face him with a kind smile :)

2008-08-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

Suchita's story in her own words……

My family is a total chaos…infact now I m so accoustomed to the bizarre patterns of events in my life that I get a high with all the drama!

I had learnt to live with the pain…ignoring..not realizing how it was harming me and eating into my happiness..longer period of gloominess was making me more bitter with people in my life. I saw life like a big happening drama..i myself begun to hurt myself by getting into wrong relationships…or picking up fights unnecessarily just to get a high again.

But when one looked at me…i was not that sad girl! Probably I learnt to put a smile constantly. I was lively and had a big socializing group, people liked me and I had lots of friends but something was going wrong somewhere…when I was alone I had no peace of mind..bouts of depression and terrible mood swings and nightmares overcasted me…I had to keep myself engaged..i couldn’t lie down peacefully..i had to keep running.

I drowned myself more and more into the worldly things to distract myself from all the pain..i thought it worked!

This was my thinking until he came into my life………….

He was just there initially like anyone else …I was not too conscious of his presence….
He nudged me to speak when I sat silently in the bus rides..always there besides me asking me why I am not speaking much like others or not laughing at their jokes! Why am I so gloomy and why am I not enjoying life like others!

It made me angry initially…I thought..what the hell is his problem?..i had this big ego where I couldn’t take people’s instructions and I dint care what they thought. Anyways he wasn’t someone special to me then. I was an extreme girl….laughing hysterically at one moment and then just receding quietly into my shelf the other…
But he wanted me to just enjoy my life…I wondered if he ever saw what pain really was! To me he was like a child…just born into this world..who saw life in the bright light. I yearned to see the world through his eyes.

He just smiled through those small green eyes!

I began to see the naturalness with which he lived in this world..his beliefs..no complexity..no fundaas…

I love to watch him play with kids..i love when he makes fun of me and showers me with so much attention..every small thing that bothers me ..it bothers him too!
..i love when he holds my hand into his warm hands to make that crackling sound from the bone!(but I always complain ;) …I love to see him get angry..i love the naughty smile on his face..i love to see the arrogance on his face when he speaks highly about himself! :P

Slowly his happiness and simplicity has brushed on me..i have changed..i laugh more often..the lingering insecurity in me has vanished! he is always there..be it help
with worklife..or deciding on on what to eat for dinner! 

Heard of soulmmates?
They come into your life..and bring about a complete change..they change who you are. They go through the pain and the suffering along with you…shedding tears in your pain..and rejoicing in your happiness..caring for you through and through…

Can anyone else take care of you in the same manner?..

Just as they come..they vanish away..leaving their imprints in your life.
They are not meant to stay with you forever….

I believe this is the second time when God blessed me with one!

He says that he never had a friend like me before..that he never did such things for anyone before..

He just came into my life quietly at the very moment when I was losing hope and all spheres of my life was utter chaos! I thought I was strong enough to handle it..but I was slipping slowly..i couldn’t think straight …I needed someone to hold my hand and show me how to live and work things out from scratch.

He is going to remain like a beautiful phase in my life! Who taught me to enjoy life like a child again…..

2007-09-15T00:47:00.002-07:00

Akshay has joined as a fresher in an IT company..he is away from home..craving to be back there..
He is surrounded with new people who don’t interest him..he craves for the food..for his family..he is too bogged down with his assignments..he misses his girlfriend who lives in another city..
One day he meets this striking woman in his company canteen..he has never seen her before..he is captivated by her calm face.He approaches her, they snack together ..soon life is different….he is quick with his work and looks forward to some interesting conversation with her..

Namrata is a young girl working at a call centre.
She is tired of the abuses hurled at her daily on the phone. The same boring routine, getting up in the morning and leaving for office, come back home half dead and spiritless. The same old people, the same warning of the boss, the same shouting of the landlord for the rent, the same complaints from old friends for her lack of social time.
One day a new employee ..a young sweet fellow takes a seat next to hers.They both look at each other and smile. Something sets her heart fluttering..
She keeps smiling..feeling alive and more attentive towards the work at hand..more cheerful and talkative..suddenly looking forward to everything…

Ankur is a fat guy who wants to lose weight but his gymming routine of running on the treadmill and lifting weigths is boring him!
A good looking hot babe working out besides him is enough motivation for him to get going!

Routines squeeze out the excitement from our lives and we yearn for an out of the ordinary day.

Have you ever felt that need to reach out to new people..to feel a contact with them?

An attractive lady who just walked in the room ..or your football coach..the sweet lady at the coffee shop..someone who strikes you interesting?
Someone secretly motivating you which gives you the strength to pull yourself out of you bed each morning even when you are dead tired..to wait for the same damn bus..pass through the same dam ugly lanes.. face the same damn boss!

Someone said "Life is like riding a bicycle in order to balance you got to keep moving ".
These new people we meet in our everyday lives somehow drive us ahead.

2006-12-04T11:31:00.001-08:00

A WOMAN’S WORLD

Once during one of the cocktail parties Srikala met Vijay. Vijay was a dark handsome and a tall guy with strong piercing look. One could hold on to his gaze and get absorbed into a dreamy world. It was difficult to look away! While he walked towards Srikala, she could feel his aura around him, such was his magnificent personality! He stretched his hands and gave her a gentle yet firm handshake; Srikala’s heart almost skipped a beat! She said a sweet hello and then was at a loss of words.

Vijay noticed Srikala’s long beautiful hair that fell gracefully on her thin frame. Srikala wasn’t strikingly beautiful but she had a good way of carrying herself! She was sweet and little shy. Though she was quite reserved by nature she got along well with people who were close to her. She laughed the loudest on her friend’s jokes. She was a great confidante to her friends.
Sriakala and Vijay striked the chord right from the start! They both instantaneously liked each other, both sharing the same energy level and enthusiasm! They worked on the same project and thus spent a lot of time together. They shared the same jokes..went to the canteen together..slowly they became close friends.

Then for the first time they kissed. It was a thrilling moment for Srikala…..

Srikala was brought up well with strong values. She had a strong sense of right and wrong but was also quite stubborn at times. She liked to follow her heart.
Well Srikala had never been in a relationship before, there were quite some guys who showed interest in her, but she always kept a distance...thinking it was a waste of time!
She always laughed and joked about how silly the young girls were who danced around their boyfriends…giggling all the time! She knew the day she would give her heart to someone..she would also give her soul! For her; love was the most sacred thing on earth.

It was almost six months since Vijay and Srikala met. It was Vijay’s birthday today. She got his favorite black forest cake and planned a surprise party with her colleagues. She wore a beautiful maroon kurta. She indeed looked lovely in it!

Srikala brought Vijay inside the friend’s apartment with her supple hands over his eyes. He slowly opened his eyes and was greeted with a huge crowd. Vijay had the time of his life that day! Of course he knew Srikala was undoubtedly the woman who made all this happen.He reflected back on their friendship…she was the one who always supported him in spite of his weakness! The one who was his strength…who always lend an ear to his problems.

Midway in the party..Srikala moved to the terrace to feel the cool breeze…

Vijay walked up behind her..held her by her thin shoulders. She turned and he looked into her eyes like he has never before..it glistened in the dim light. Srikala thought she saw tears. She took his hand and squeezed it gently,as a warm friend would. He took her in his arms..and gently kissed her on her soft lips. Srilaka was startled at this unexpected move...she pushed him lightly.She then looked in his eyes..and saw love and warmth. She let him kiss her again surrendering herself. He held her closer and kissed her longer this time on her already wet lips. She was scared and yet she felt sheltered from the outside world. She trusted him. The young couple stood there in the moonlight in each others arms. That was the most passionate moment.
At the end of the party Vijay hugged Srikala and thanked her for making his day so wonderful! Srikala still dazed after what happened smiled at him coyly.

She went home, thinking about the kiss all night, the thought of it stirred her!
How tenderly he had kissed her,holding her face in his hands...how vulnerable it felt in his strong affectionate arms which circled around her thin frame..she felt her lips as if he was still kissing her,and then thinking she coiled shyly in her bed.It brought a smile on her face. She wished for it to happen again..and then finally a realization dawned on her!

How can it be love??
She felt she had given a part of her soul to someone she wasn’t in love with! She cursed herself for acting so fragile! She felt ashamed to even think about it…

”God! Did he misunderstand my friendship for love? And why am i thinking about the kiss as if i wanted it to happen??..as if i enjoyed it!!“She wondered.
Aah how guilty she felt…!!

” Wasn’t I in my right senses..what had come over me?? I don’t love him..i love someone else...I should have told Vijay earlier! Now I have ruined my friendship! I should have taken a stand....how i wish i could somehow go back in time and change what happened!”She guiltily reflected.

2006-12-02T22:46:00.001-08:00

Temptation!

What is that entices a woman towards an already possessed man?
He might be your best friend’s man or your childhood male buddy whom you never found so desirable before! Or your married professor, or just a newly married neighbor!

You know some guy, over a period you become good friends, chat for long nights, and become close. You share all these conversations in minutest detail with your friends; to an extent you express your strong liking of him. You describe as if you just found your dream man, the one who shares the same passion like you, who is confident, and smart and an expert in his work, above all he is much elder to you! As they say old men are wiser and hence more desirable ;) So, you go on and on, about this new person you have met, and you describe him as if he is the most sought after guy!

You describe your rosy world to your best friends. And they are enchanted, they feel glad and happy for you, they too express their desire to meet him, to judge if he is good enough for you. You are happy that they are taking a keen interest in your love life, so you gladly oblige. You nudge your man to fix up a date! You are not the least bit insecure of your good looking friends. You trust your man completely. So here you walk in with your guy.

All your friends greet him with their sweet smile! Suddenly you see a different side of your friend’s, they are looking more feminine today, and extra sweet! They start leashing out their most destructive weapon, their smile! They pull your leg, pass smart comments, and they try to test your guy! A guy already taken is the biggest temptation! So do women species unknowingly judge their sexiness by trying to allure him! It’s a tough competition now, because he is already faithful to someone else, so you need that extra ounce of something (I can’t describe in words) in you so that he may take notice of you! And if he gives in, it’s the women’s victory! It’s not that she desires him, it’s just a simple way of self-confirmation to know if she can still play her cards well! It’s a harmless way of judging herself.
It irritates you to no end to hear him say that he liked your friend with that long lustrous hair, or the one who wore a plunging neck line or the one who wore a dark red lipstick or the one with a very sweet smile! You feel like smacking him, for not noticing your new hair cut and the new black dress you wore to impress him! You burn with anger when you come across his scraps in your best friend’s book! You keep track of all the crap…oops! I mean scraps! You flatly refuse when he suggests that the whole gang should go out for Dhoom2!

You insist him on holding your hand when you walk together, to gently kiss you when your friends are around, to dance just with you! And you laugh louder, dress more seductively just for him! You keep trying hard to get back his attention on you!

Is it inborn in a woman to lure their men by their beauty and to crush every other lioness who enters her territory?

So is this a womans’s psychology!
Even the most successful woman aspires for the male attention, for that second glance as she walks by! Yes it does great good to her self-esteem! It makes her feel desired!

But here I would like to conclude with my opinion:

If your man can’t limit his wants which go beyond his gizmo stuffs and motorbikes…to put in simple words, if he makes a pass at your best friend, then spank him before you dump him, for its not your friends fault…but his for being so greedy and unfaithful! If he is completely loyal to you, then hurray you are one of the luckiest ones on planet earth!

[I don’t know whether I am mature enough to write this piece. These are the small things that I happened to notice around me, so I thought I might as well write something about it.]

2006-09-30T00:55:00.000-07:00

what is LOVE?

puppy love..infatuation...crush..love at first sight..attraction..foolishly in love! You can give it whatever names you want..it doesn't last for long!

What are the first things that you notice...
a good face...great voice..attractive physique..talent..thats all!..you will see only which is easily percieved!

Do you know what makes him laugh...what makes him tick..makes him cry?..what he treasures...his secrets..his insecurities..his strengths ..his weakness...his anger...do you know him in and out??

Do you know his habits..do you understand his comfort level..his body language..what his eyes speak!..do you know what he is afraid of...what he is passionate about??do you know his family...his friends...his past..his best buddies?..

If you do ..do you accept him as he is?Do you want to change him?...

It doesnt take a moment to form an impression...but many years..sometimes a lifetime..know a person ..
So how can you Love someone without knowing all this??
In the first few meetings ...its just the initial attraction...
you just notice the obvious...
here both try to be as presentable as possible..as charming as possible...as likable as possible! both have some not so obvious characteristics...
Well 'Time'..is the most important factor here...to understand someone..the way you connect...what you have in common..what you like and dislike..

Can you touch each others Soul?.

.its not physical love..its something deeper..can you both read each others mind well?..has your presence made a difference in his life..do you feel jis need in your life?

If yes...then i feel two people can think of taking their realtionship ahead...from close buddies to lovers!

If no...then well..it wont last long!
it will be clumsy..it will confuse both of them..hurt both of them..they both will try to change each other..possess each other..!..it doesn't work this way!your love life will just remain as a big Fantasy!..a Fairy Tale!

So before jumping into something...
its most important..that both spend as much quality time as they can together..and get to know each other well!because there is always more to a person than what is obvious...and you CANNOT just CANNOT love a person without understanding each other well!..its NOT LOVE!..unfortunately its still puppy love!

Its not mature..everybody would like to have their love besides them even during their bad times..to encourage them when they are in self-doubt..to keep them grounded..to be very honest and frank with them!..not everybody or anybody can give you that!

AND if you are lucky enough to find such a person..treasure them..always keep them close to you..because its not easy to find a GEM that often!

I learnt this about Love...maybe i took too long...or maybe just at the right moment...it has deinitely made me wiser...i am no more confused...i am very sure of myself now..no more doubts..at peace!

Well this is to all my friends who think they are in love...maybe this will help you all to give a thoughtful observation regarding your love interest..
Wish you all the best...

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know whatthe future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

cheers
shruti

2006-09-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

i went to shop for my friend's birthday card...
and i reached for one of the cards at the romantic section...a picture of a small boy and a girl standing together...their hands clasped!
I want to be that girl...
When i look out of the bus...i see the guy leading the girl through the traffic..ohh so secure in his caring arms!...when i look at the beaches i see them embracing...when i enter the restaurants i see the girl smiling shyly...everywhere i go i see them together...in theatres..in malls..coffee shops..in college..in parties...
I too want to be that girl...
someone who would surprise me on my birthday..
... who would write romantic poems for me..
... who would be possessive of me...
.... who would pamper me..take care of me...
...... who would embrace and kiss me as my lover...
someone who would love me for what I m!

But i am afraid...
there were times when things could have worked out..but i was reluctant..i shyed away from it,unsure of myself.....
i m afraid that i will be hurt..that i might loose focus of my goals...i have seen quite a few people interested..but i blocked myself..feeling deep inside that probably i should let go...probably we will be good as only friends!
Now again i have a new person in my life...well things are progressing smoothly...should i again draw back?..
...no this time i just want to leave things for the best..let destiny play its role here..nd maybe i too can be that girl then!

2006-09-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

"Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire." ~Author Unknown

it's so easy to fall in love while you dance...

The guy holding you so close to him..your face close to his..immersed in each others eyes..feeling his breath on your neck..his hand on your waist..feeling the music...flowing...trusting him with each move..his gentle touch..touching you like none has ever before...his agressive pull..you end up asking for more!..its a feeling i find hard to put in words..you can only feel it!its sexy..

..i feel very incomplete and frustrated if i dont get to complete a sequence in this 'once a week' salsa class..its like somebody left you unsatisfied half way..
..earlier i thought i was in love with every instructor i danced with..such is the strength of music..its funny..they made me move so well...i felt euphoric!..nobody has ever made me feel like this before..but its their job!..to make a woman dance..they are geting paid..
so are they emotionless..dont they fall in love when they dance...or are they accustomed to it??..maybe they are like actors...act bec u getin paid!...

..i do not connect with every guy i dance with...it doesnt always happen..but there was this guy i thought i lukd perfect with!..we both knew we luked good dancing 2gether..we greeted each other with a big smile...we used to give each other a thumbs up sign after each step...nd each class i used to look forward to dancing with him..the day we danced the floor was ours...i knew it is him!..it was a long time since felt like this...i was laughing..and i couldnt stop..i wasn't in love...i don't think you can fall in love once again so easily...but yeah it was great fun dancing with him..
i was waiting that he would ask my number...he was quite friendly with everyone...he had joined back after a year break,yet pretty good..he had that energy in him..the right move...perfect for me i thought....we were pretty good together...and i think people liked to watch us dancing together..i dreamt of us performing in a competition..infact i was going to ask him..but then i thought maybe next class..and the next class never came...i left for my hometown...to return back and never find him in the class...i miss him..we luked perfect...no i m not in love..its just that it was so much fun dancing with him!!i really do miss him..i hope he comes back next class.....

They say men who salsa are very sensitive..well i think who dance well sure know how to win a woman's heart...how to make her feel special and treat her well..protect her..are chivalrous..it reminds me of bryan adams song..'have you ever really loved a women'..you will always remember those moments..which last till the song.i m glad i was lucky to be a part of those moments!

happy salsaying!

2006-09-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

"Thousands of emotions well up inside me through out the day. They are released when I dance."" *Abraham Lincony*

The deadly sin 'invidia'...

Pride,Greed,Lust,Envy,Gluttony,Wrath and Laziness..the seven deadly sins!well if you experience any of these that shows that you are still human.
i envy this girl in my class...
Not because she is beautiful...she is fair,tall,with golden hair and a great skin which turns pink!not because she is sometimes favoured!..
I envy her because she has a boyfriend who dances much better than her,corrects her,encourages her,gives her company to dance parties...makes her move so well..makes her happy!she is a good dancer...allow me to be a liltle immodest over here and say that i m better than her!
Yes she has that perfect hair..well my hair keeps troubling me..i have to tie it up again and agian after each sequence...
She is never alone..always her boyfriend to stand besides her to guide her eventhough we have instructors to do so...they are a couple!and i do feel her eyes on me when i dance with her boyfriend....the girl and i are sweet to each other..greet each other.
Her boyfriend has already taught her the complete sixth level,we just started learning..she knows all the steps...in between breaks they both try some new step...and show- off..he is pretty good..i have danced with him...shows a lot of energy!
No i dont envy when they dance together...
i just envy her because she has a very good dance partner...its always better to have a better male dancer of a higher level than a girl dancer..because guys generally require a lot of practice...

The moment we enter the class ...the two start off...they mostly dance together..(whlile we keep changing partners)...its pretty clear from the way she will just stand and wait smiling at him..its an indication that she wants to dance with him!thats so sweet..though sometimes i think she tries a liltle too hard!

It gives her so much of practice!
the fact that they are a couple and they (i assume) stay close..they can dance everyday for hours...and i have to wait one whole week for my class of 1.5 hours!haha...that too satisfaction not gauranteed!
she has what i want...that perfect dance partner...the opportunity to dance when she feels like!i just put on some music and dance with a non-existing person...and that makes my day...i too wish i had a friend with whom i could dance whenever i liked..the perfect gift for my birthday i think would be to be able to salsa all day!haha..i sometimes speak crazy stuff!!

Envy is indeed a puzzling emotion!...

The guy is not that handsome..and i think that she is with him just because he dances well!..this may be true or may be not...i don't know...but this is how it looks to me...yes even i would go for a guy who dances well,who shares the same interest as me.

..but she needs to be more graceful i think ..just knowing a step doesnt help!
but yeah having a good dance partner definitely helps!
it indeed gives you a lot of confidence knwoing that you two dance well together...being a couple..you can see that in each others eyes..when you walk towards the guy to join him!

Changing partners does help in the sense that you will be comfortable with any guy who asks you for a dance in a dance party...in short good only for social dancing...but if you want to take it up seriously..you can improve a lot by practising with a fixed dance partner who is better than the girl.

happy dancing!

2006-09-02T22:23:00.000-07:00

"Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it." ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

we learnt a new step in the last class...the guy holds your two hands..holding them you go down(your head goes down and the left leg up)..like a sew-saw..its a risky drop..if your hand slips from his hand..you will crash on the floor head first!
so we are asked to try these new steps with the instructors first..its like somebody holding you at the edge of a cliff..you know you will be hurt if you take a step in the wrong direction!..

.."don't worry i won't let you fall"...."hold on tightly..its simple.."..
"don't be afraid i am there"...
"i have danced with aunties..and have balanced them..don't worry..go down!"

feeling so vulnerable in their arms..holding on to them..scared..
this is how they win our trust and yes they make sure that you dont hurt yourself...holding you with a firm grip!once they win your trust ..learning with them is easy!
this happened quite a few months back..

I remember this step i did right the first time i did it..but then was missing it after that!.the guy takes you down..spins while you are sitting down and then pulls you up!
Well Len was taking our class after a very long time..i dont know why he doesnt come anymore..i will surely inquire about it the next time..my favourite one! just to see hi mdance makes my day!
..i was a liltle late for the class ..they were done with the warm -ups..and then my eyes fell on him!how glad i was to see him after such a long time...

it just brings a smile on my face...seeing him..he is dark..about 5'8 or maybe 5'9..muscular..a very decent face..gentleman!i love to hear his voice...
both of us smiled and said hi...God i literally was grinning i think..happy to know that he remembers me...(his old and i suppose fav student that i was)..

I joined him...
i have never had so much fun..falling everytime...how warm it felt to be in his arms everytime i lost my balance....he was holding me everytime...it rekindled the same old fire.... i was smiling and laughing.....wasn't he geting tired?..i wondered or was he too enjoying like me??..it was definitely my day..i wouldn't have mind doing it wrong everytime..as long as i could dance with him!..
my legs started aching badly..but it din't matter to me...and then
Bingo!..i finally got it right..but while he was pulling me up..his elbow hit my cheek hard!!
what a blow it was...for a moment i din't realize what went wrong..until he pulled me back..holding my face in his hands..and apologising profusely.."i m soo sorry!!"..i too held on to him..i wished that i could somehow freeze that moment!..i din't care that others were looking..it dint concern me..at that moment it was as if just he and i existed!..i don't know why i did that but i made a sad face and complained that he hit me pretty hard!..may be i just wanted him to hold me once again like he did before and console me..that was the moment i felt so very vulnerable..so sensitive..weak..being protected..secure at the same time..many fixed feelings!it felt so diifernt...

haha..i start with something else on my mind and end up writing about something else!my mind is all jumbled up!

Don't get involed in all such things they say...it distracts you..keep your mind off this...stay focussed..concentrate on your studies..you have your whole life to do all these things..people just give and take..there is nothing like true love...bad realtionships can ruin your life..you will just end up feeling stupid!..he just wants something from you..thats why he is staying close to you..he just needs your shoulders to cry on..to burden you with his emotions..he is using you!..stay away from him...men are selfish??

i can dream all day..until maybe when reality hits me hard..maybe true love doesn't exist...but i do believe in soulmates..they can be anyone..your friends too..your life wouldn't be the same anymore..life would be beautiful then on..you could meet your soulmate anywhere...just across the street..in a cafe..anywhere..they may not be with you all your life..but you would always feel their presence..their warmth..their well wishes!a person would indeed be lucky to meet his soulmate..

but nobody wants to be alone!..am i alone..i don't know... i have lots of things to keep myself occupied with..my family..blessed with great friends..dancing..blogging away..painting..trekking..novels..movies..but there is this special moment which maybe i would love to share with just that one person whom i love and who loves me back.i am not incomplete without him...but i guess i want to know how it really feels..experience it.

i am pretty happy and realxed at the moment ..i dont think i lack the presence of the one!...but i would love to love..give..pamper...make the the one special..
fill his room with flowers on his birthday and a huge birthday card too..give him a surprise visit to his place..cook his favourite dish for him..arrange for a candle light dinner..play on some soft music and dance away..i am very romantic at heart it will be a memorable day for him!..
he should feel worthy of being a part of my life..make him happy..make him smile!he should feel lucky to have me..hope i am lucky in love too..

happy dancing!